This is me, Ted at one week old, held by my paternal grandmother.She looks quite pleased to have a grandson but alas that didn't last. She was never part of my life, but then neither was her son.
My only regret here is that my son is now in the same position. Not because my mother doesn't want anything to do with him but because she can't have anything to do with him. I left it too late to give her the gift of grandchildren as altzeimers took over her life shortly after Eddy was born. This preys on my mind constantly but I get over it. At least my children have the benefit of maternal grandparents who play an active part in their lives.
3 comments:
Your children have a large actively loving extended family, and they will have that all of their lives. It pains us all to know that your mother can't be a part of this, and we do our utmost to see that they don't feel the loss. You, on the other hand always will feel it, and should! It is part of what makes you a whole.
My boys lost their paternal grandparents when they were young. Dewey remembers them, Eliot does not. Like you, Mike carries this with him and has been tormented by it. All we (those of us who love you and them) can do is honor their memories and keep them in their lives by sharing bits and pieces of what we remember. It will never be enough, but it's also all we can do.
Love you,
tt
I look at that photo and see a beautiful little Alan that looks so much like Andrew.
As for the rest you know we all think you are wonderful and Teresa said it much better than I can.
I'm in accord with all Teresa and Ruth have said. The only thing I would add is that the children will always have a connection to their Grandmother through you - your stories, the photos, etc. I never knew my paternal Grandfather, but as far back as I can remember was always fascinated by his photos and stories that Daddy told me. Still am. The children carry a legacy one way or the other, and they are blessed children to have a father who cares so deeply for such things.
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