I dreamt I was forced to eat 25lbs of marshmallows. When I woke up, my pillow was missing.

This is an example of Chic Murray's humor.

Other examples include:

• We've got stained glass windows in our house. It's those damned pigeons.

• A Scot is a man who keeps the Sabbath, and everything else he can lay his hands on.

• My next door neighbor said "Is it O.K. if I use your lawnmower?" I replied, "Certainly, just don't take it out of my garden!"

• My girlfriend's a redhead. No hair, just a red head.